One evening, doom scrolling via TikTok, I got here throughout a video of a younger lady videoing her regular each day life with the heading ,‘You’ve accepted that you just’re nobody’s favorite good friend’. I regarded over on the caption and right here’s what it mentioned: “I’ve always been a floater friend. I really do wish I had a best friend that I could’ve enjoyed ‘girlhood’ with and go out on coffee dates, shopping trips etc but I guess I wasn’t part of the chosen ones.” I assumed, why do I relate to this a lot?
One morning, throughout Glamour UK‘s morning assembly, I introduced this up with the workforce and wow did it appear to hit a nerve with folks within the workplace. I by no means thought this is able to resonate with so many people.
So what precisely is a ‘floater friend’? Being the floater good friend, you might be part of plenty of totally different friendship teams however are by no means the core good friend in these teams. You’re not invited to all the things they do, maybe you’re feeling just like the filler good friend if one other core member can’t attend a meet up or possibly you’re single and really feel just like the token single good friend at Friday evening drinks. In the event you’re nodding alongside, you are not alone, many individuals appear themselves because the floater good friend.
Right here, 4 folks share their experiences and interpretations of the social idea.
Floater Good friend #1
I’ve at all times felt like I’m continuously flitting between teams, seeing totally different pals each day of the week. So why do I typically really feel like I’m lacking out on one thing? It may not make sense from the surface as a result of I continuously have plans, although I can’t assist however really feel as if I’m lacking out on that core, close-knit bond.
It’s to not say that I haven’t had ‘best friends’ in my life as a result of I’ve, they’ve simply at all times fizzled as a result of I’ve felt myself being changed and never needed to look clingy or really feel like I must push my method again in to that friendship.
Whereas it’s a pleasure having such a broad vary of individuals in my life and I’ve positively chosen to prioritise seeing quite a lot of totally different folks, lurking at the back of my thoughts I can’t assist however really feel I’m a bit of misplaced. One thing will get talked about that I wasn’t at, some reference will likely be made that doesn’t resonate, or when making new plans I can’t assist however really feel like I’m an afterthought. Am I the add-on? The half that doesn’t fairly match?
Over time I’ve grappled with this rather a lot, however what I’ve discovered most validating of all is studying the time period ‘floater friend’. Being a floater good friend can naturally really feel a bit of isolating, so figuring out that it is a quite common expertise is extremely comforting. Likewise, I’ve to remind myself that the rationale I really feel like a floater is as a result of I’ve received so many pals I’ve related with.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve discovered to provide much less vitality to the friendships that don’t make me be ok with myself and it’s been so liberating. I additionally love assembly up with pals one-on-one as a result of it appears like I get an opportunity to meet up with that individual correctly and there’s no group dynamics to cope with.
