I’d misplaced years of my life each to the abuse and to the courtroom case, so with every part wrapped up and all that weight off my shoulders, I started to discover who I wished to be as a lady. I didn’t need to really feel like a sufferer; I wished to really feel robust, I wished to really feel assured, and I wished to really feel horny. This was my new life, and I used to be decided to benefit from my freedom.
I discovered myself more and more fascinated by robust ladies on display, particularly the legendary femme fatales of previous Hollywood movies. I’d all the time cherished that elegant and glamorous fashion, and now felt like the proper time to attempt the seems I’d usually draw back from. It began with a sultry smoky eye, discovering the proper black gown, and saving for my first pair of Louboutin stilettos.
I had this picture in my head of a confident, glamorous girl who lived life on her personal phrases and knew full properly the facility she wielded. Once I bought dressed day-after-day, I actually started to really feel like her.
“Survivors deserve to find joy; survivors deserve to dress however they wish”
Alongside my fashion and mindset makeover, elevating consciousness and pushing for change on behalf of different ladies who had skilled sexual violence was additionally an important a part of my therapeutic journey. My social media started to explode, and shortly, I had 1000’s of followers, and my posts have been attracting hundreds of thousands of views.
Ellie Wilson
Whereas the overwhelming majority of individuals have been supportive, I used to be shocked at a few of the feedback. The recurring theme was the concept that my garments and angle have been someway unbecoming of a lady who’d been raped. They informed me I ‘didn’t appear like a sufferer’, that I ought to ‘cover up’, that I’m ‘too glamorous’, one even compiled a photograph collage of images of me in bikinis from my Instagram and branded me a ‘temptress’.
There is a societal perception that solely a ‘perfect victim’ deserves our sympathy. And that particular person should all the time keep a sufferer and by no means deviate from the stereotypes and expectations we place on them. They need to stay depressing, meek, and powerless. That is, in fact, not possible. There isn’t any a technique for a survivor to look and act.
The truth is that more often than not, life goes on after rape, and people of us who’ve skilled sexual violence have to search out methods to rebuild our lives. Survivors deserve to search out pleasure; survivors deserve to decorate nonetheless they want; survivors need to have good issues and stay life to the fullest, and sure… survivors need to really feel horny in the event that they so select.
Rape and different types of sexual violence could be devastating, life-altering acts, nonetheless we’ve got to cease perpetuating the concept that life should finish for these of us who’ve skilled it. We will acknowledge the severity of the crime with out sentencing its victims to an eternity of sorrow.
As for me, I’m going to maintain busting reductive stereotypes about what rape survivors appear like – one daring crimson lip at a time.
For extra details about emotional abuse and home abuse, you possibly can name The Freephone Nationwide Home Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge on 0808 2000 247.
For extra details about reporting and recovering from rape and sexual abuse, you possibly can contact Rape Disaster on 0808 500 2222.
You probably have been sexually assaulted, you’ll find your nearest Sexual Assault Referral Centre right here. You may as well discover help at your native GP, voluntary organisations equivalent to Rape Disaster, Girls’s Assist, and Sufferer Help, and you’ll report it to the police (for those who select) right here.
